DRAPER — Steve Aldridge and Gary Pemberton had spent three years climbing the waitlist at Draper Family Services when a routine eligibility interview in January derailed their application entirely.
The couple, who have been together for eleven years and legally married for six, were informed by letter on February 3rd that their application had been denied on the basis of what the agency described as "an unresolved question of orientation authenticity." The letter, three pages long and co-signed by the agency's director and a consulting therapist, cited Gary's disclosure during the interview that he had experienced romantic feelings for a girl named Susan in the seventh grade.
"We want to be absolutely clear that Draper Family Services is committed to inclusivity and affirms the dignity of all applicants," wrote Director Meghan Hadley in the letter. "It is precisely because we take orientation so seriously that we cannot in good conscience place a child with an individual whose homosexual identity may be, at least in part, a product of experience, environment, or personal evolution rather than a fixed and immutable characteristic."
Gary Pemberton, 38, said he had not expected the disclosure to become an issue.
"I mentioned Susan because they asked about our full relationship histories," Pemberton said in a phone interview. "I was twelve. She sat next to me in band. I thought she smelled nice and when she talked to me I felt like the only person in the world. But I was told I couldn't kiss until I was 16 so we never did, I swear, you can ask her. I have been sexually active with men only since as long as I can remember. Me confiding in something that might have been but never was shouldn't disqualify me from raising my own babies."
Director Hadley, reached by phone Thursday, said the agency's policy was designed to ensure long-term placement stability.
"The science is very clear that children thrive in homes with authentic, stable family structures," said Hadley. "We're not saying Mr. Pemberton isn't gay. We're saying we can't be certain that he was born gay, and that uncertainty creates a risk profile that our board is not comfortable with at this time. If his orientation is, shall we say, developmental in nature, that introduces variables. We have a responsibility to the children."
When asked how the agency determines which applicants were "born gay" as opposed to "developmentally gay," Hadley referred a reporter to the agency's six-page orientation verification protocol, which includes a questionnaire, a clinical interview with the consulting therapist, and, for borderline cases, a $400 orientation assessment administered by a licensed provider in Lehi that the agency described as "widely respected in the field."
The assessment provider, Clarity Identity Services, did not respond to a request for comment. Its website describes its methodology as "holistic, evidence-informed, and grounded in a belief that human identity is both sacred and verifiable."
Steve Aldridge, 41, called the process "surreal."
"We have been together longer than most of the heterosexual couples in this process," said Aldridge. "We own a home. We have stable careers. We have two dogs who are, by any measure, thriving. And the determining factor is whether Gary had a crush in middle school. I want to be clear: he didn't even like Susan that much."
The couple has filed a complaint with the Utah Department of Human Services and retained an attorney. Their attorney, Vanessa Park of Salt Lake City, said the agency's policy likely violated the 2020 Fulton v. City of Philadelphia decision's equal treatment standards, though she acknowledged the legal landscape in Utah created "some complexity."
"This policy is discriminatory on its face," Park said. "It applies a standard to gay applicants — prove your orientation is innate and immutable — that is never applied to heterosexual applicants. No straight couple has ever been asked to demonstrate that they were born straight."
Director Hadley, when this was put to her, paused.
"That's a fair point," she said. "and we actually have added the same background criteria for heterosexual applicants as well. This will all become much more academic once we have a test that shows one's orientation at a genetic level. It is really important as an adoption agency that we separate the sexual deviants from people with normal attractions."
The agency confirmed Thursday that it has begun drafting an orientation verification addendum for all applicants, regardless of sexual orientation. Several heterosexual couples with pending applications have reportedly been notified that their eligibility reviews will be briefly delayed.
The Pemberton-Aldridge appeal is scheduled to be heard in April.