State leads nation in per-capita fountain drink consumption; entrepreneurs say the Lord provides where Starbucks cannot
SALT LAKE CITY — Following a landmark study released Tuesday by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention confirming that Utah leads the nation in per-capita soft drink consumption by a margin of 34 percent, Governor Spencer Cox signed an executive proclamation designating the Wasatch Front the "Fountain Drink Innovation Corridor" — a title he described at a press conference as "well-earned" and "frankly, long overdue."
"People assume that because we don't drink coffee or alcohol, we don't have a sophisticated beverage culture," said Cox, who was flanked by representatives from Swig, Sodalicious, and at least four other regional soda chains whose names evoke either speed, spiritual grace, or both. "They are wrong. They have always been wrong. And I think these numbers prove it."
The CDC study, titled Regional Soft Drink Consumption Patterns and Their Relationship to Health Outcomes That We Will Not Discuss Here, found that Utahns consume an average of 54 gallons of carbonated beverages per year — a figure that researchers described in an appendix as "unexpected," "sobering," and "difficult to explain to our colleagues at the NIH."
The findings have energized a generation of Utah entrepreneurs who have spent the last decade transforming what was once a simple gas station transaction into a $2.8 billion artisanal experience.
"The Word of Wisdom prohibits hot drinks," explained Brandon Kimball, 29, founder of Draper-based soda subscription service HolyPour, which ships customized fountain drink kits — including hand-labeled dropper bottles of flavoring and a laminated "flavor wheel" — to 40,000 households across six states. "It says nothing about a 44-ounce Diet Coke with house-made coconut cream, two pumps of raspberry, and a splash of fresh-squeezed lime served over pebble ice in a souvenir tumbler. The Lord provides where Starbucks cannot."
HolyPour's flagship product, the "Covenant Classic," retails for $5.99 and has a waitlist.
Kimball is not alone. St. George-based Righteous Dominion Beverages, which launched in 2021 as a direct-to-consumer soda concentrate company, reported $14 million in revenue last year and has recently expanded into retail, stocking shelves at 180 Harmons and Fresh Market locations across the Intermountain West. Its founder, Tyler Dabb, said the company's name was chosen deliberately.
"We wanted something that communicated authority," said Dabb, 33, who served a two-year mission in the Philippines before earning an MBA at BYU's Marriott School. "Righteous Dominion is about mastery over your choices. You choose what goes in your cup. You choose your flavors. You choose your life. The government can't tell you what to drink, and neither can Starbucks."
Righteous Dominion's best-selling product is a concentrated syrup called "Manifesto," described on its packaging as "bold, uncompromising, and fruit-forward," which retails for $18.99 for a 16-ounce bottle and yields approximately 32 servings. The company's loyalty program, the United Order, offers tiered membership benefits including early flavor access, branded tumblers, and what the website describes as "exclusive scripture-themed flavor drops." Members who reach the program's highest spending tier are inducted into what Righteous Dominion calls the Relief Society — a private community of roughly 4,000 customers who receive advance shipments, a quarterly printed zine, and an annual invitation to what the company calls a "Super Soaker Event" held each October in St. George.
Dabb said the Relief Society currently has a three-month waitlist.
The current United Order drop is called "Iron Rod Raspberry."
The soda culture predates the current boom. Industry historians trace its origins to the 1971 clarification by Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints leadership that the Word of Wisdom's prohibition on "hot drinks" referred specifically to coffee and tea — not caffeine as a compound — and the subsequent 2012 statement confirming that caffeinated soft drinks did not violate Church standards. Both clarifications, according to University of Utah cultural anthropologist Dr. Priscilla Wankermann, "opened the floodgates, both literally and metaphorically."
"What you saw after 2012 was essentially a gold rush," said Wankermann, who spent three years studying the drive-through soda bar phenomenon for a monograph that her publisher has asked her to retitle twice. "A culture that had developed a sophisticated suppression of stimulant desire suddenly had an approved outlet, and it turned out that outlet was capable of extraordinary innovation. The loyalty card systems alone are unlike anything I've seen in consumer beverage behavior."
The Swig loyalty app, which rewards frequent purchases with points redeemable for additional soda, currently has 2.3 million active users in a state with 3.4 million total residents. The company declined to comment on the implication.
Not everyone is celebrating. Dr. Alan Ostroff, a cardiologist at Intermountain Health who has treated Utah patients for 22 years, released a statement Tuesday calling the Governor's proclamation "a public health concern dressed in a press release" and noting that several of his patients consume between three and six large fountain drinks per day while also faithfully adhering to every other provision of the Word of Wisdom.
"I had a patient last week who told me he hadn't touched coffee in 60 years," said Ostroff. "He's never had a beer. No tobacco. Wakes up at 5 a.m. to exercise. Lives a life of genuine discipline and health consciousness. He also drinks 80 ounces of Mountain Dew Baja Blast daily and told me it was 'basically water.' He has a Swig platinum card."
Governor Cox's office did not respond to a request for comment on the cardiologist's statement. A spokesperson for Swig called the comments "divisive" and noted that the company offers a sugar-free option.
The Fountain Drink Innovation Corridor designation includes a $4 million state grant to develop a soda tourism initiative, the construction of a "Flavor Experience Center" near the Point of the Mountain, and a proposed high school elective course on beverage entrepreneurship that the State Board of Education has provisionally titled Introduction to Carbonation Studies.
In a prepared statement, Governor Cox called the initiative "a proud reflection of Utah values — creativity, community, and the belief that the path to a fulfilling life does not require caffeine to come in warm."
He was drinking a 32-ounce Diet Coke as he said it.
The Dezz is a satire publication. This article is fictional and intended for satirical purposes only. Any resemblance to actual proclamations, cardiologists, or soda entrepreneurs is the point, actually.