In a twist of multiverse fate that will make even the most ardent Tesla fan do a double-take, Tesla has surged past Volkswagen by selling over 11 million vehicles in 2023 alone. How did this automotive anomaly occur? Our empath, Arturo, reached into the multiverse to chat with the Elon we refer to as Elon 420.
Arturo: Elon, it’s absolutely wild that Tesla, under your command, has rocketed to the pinnacle of auto manufacturing, unloading over 11 million vehicles last year. Reflecting on the journey, what is the critical pivot point to this wild success story?
Elon 420: It boiled down to choosing to make a work vehicle. The story of how this happened is rather interesting, as it happened during a soul-searching trip to South Africa. I saw the future and it hit me like a truck, a compact truck. Our future would not be determined by the 1% that drive luxury vehicles but by the underserved common man worldwide. Our future was to make a compact truck.
Arturo: That’s quite the revelation, Elon. Tell us more about this visit to your homeland.
Elon 420: Of course. This was around the summer of 2014, and I was in a creative funk. When I find myself in a rut, I like to reflect on my childhood. In this case, I was inspired to visit my boyhood stomping ground in Pretoria to rekindle the emotions that launched my life journey.
As I arrived, I decided to walk the streets to get as close to those original emotions as possible. Then, as fate so often does, I crossed paths with one of my childhood friends, Baer Malone, at the Blue Room. After a catch-up reunion over some incredible corned beef, we walked out to his vehicle, which turned out to be my dad’s actual trusty old Toyota Helma.
In the lingering sunlight, I instantly recognized my dad’s old ride, nestled in the back of the old diner parking lot. She was older, the edges of her frame touched by the rough patina of passing years but still majestic in her raw, utilitarian purpose. As I slid into the driver’s seat and grasped the cracked steering wheel, the familiar scent of dust and aged vinyl enveloped me like a well-worn denim jacket. Memories flooded my mind—open roads, endless afternoons, and the reckless abandon of a truck bed full of friends and pets. Driving her down the backstreets of Pretoria, the joys of driving came surging back, long muddied by horsepower, 0-60 times, and white leather. Each gear shift was exquisite, each mile was pure joy, conquered moments stitched back through the sands of time into my very soul.
That truck, a beacon of my youth, was the inspiration I needed. We had to create that experience for everyone, and yes, it absolutely needed a manual transmission—an added bonus is that you can’t drive a gearbox and text at the same time! It’s probably why our drivers are the safest in the world.
Arturo: What financial considerations supported using a compact truck as your first mass-market vehicle?
Elon 420: A few key reasons. First off, compact trucks are so inexpensive to manufacture—and we face fewer regulatory hurdles. Small trucks are also lightweight, which is vital for electric vehicles. And let’s be real: nobody’s buying a small truck for the payload. They’re essentially electric go-carts for hauling toolboxes and camping gear, perfect for an EV.
The profit goldmine is in upfitting and fleet management; our base models are affordable, but the high-end trims are where we see our profits soar. We sold so many trucks in the first year that maintenance revenues started flowing almost immediately.
Finally, the small truck segment in the U.S. was ripe for the taking. Considering the historically low expectations for small trucks, we were bound to impress right out of the gate, and we did.
Arturo: So, why not aim for the much bigger margins of the large truck market dominated by the F150?
Elon 420: An all-electric full-size truck? It is like you haven’t been paying attention, Arturo. People buy larger trucks to haul heavy things. EVs are two decades away from batteries that will support hauling beyond a 50-mile radius. Pursuing that path would have left our customers incredibly disappointed.
At this moment Arturo lost his link to Elon 420, but Arturo was able to draw an image of the multiverse Cybertruck.
